King of Fairway

while i don't generally
approve of monarchy
i do have to say

that it's sometimes nice
(therapist's advice)
to have things your own way.

if an onion isn't perfect,
back to the bin it goes,
sample cheeses in three dialects
keeping fromagers on their toes

breads and cakes and cookies
waiting to be tried
unhekhshered roasts on special
needing to be tied

fair trade and organics
in plentiful supply
and then the kosher cheeses
who's prices make me cry.

helpful staffers everywhere
that treat you with respect
friendly and often fair,
they'll tell what is dreck.

I decide what's in our cart
and what will be on our table,
not some oppresive jerkoff
lifted from aged fable,

now for this regal treatment,
we pay a sizable price.
but to take charge for a moment,
it really is quite nice.